Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Croque Madame.

the Croque Madame.

I got the recipe for this sweet, delicious thing from those food and drink mags that the LCBO hands out.

Their version will cost you as much as many of the other delicious things that the LCBO sells. My version will not, AND still get you laid.


Kids, keep in mind this recipe is for 6 people. SIX. So, if you're making this for 2, divide the recipe in half and each have one and half, etc etc. I find a half recipe is great for two people that don't eat the whole world in one sitting.

So, for my cheese sauce, I'm inclined to go for the (1 and a half cups of) milk, throw a squirt (1.5 tsp) of Dijon in there if you have it, but if you don't, normal mustard isn't going to be the end of the world. Again, here, it would be fabulous if you have the bay leaf and sprig of thyme. (Check that twirly spice thing Aunt Edna gave you when you went off to college, there might be some in there.)

If you have omit it, it's seriously not the end of the world, but if you do want to do it right, you can actually buy 1 bay leaf and , say, a half teaspoon or so, of dried thyme at the bulk store. It'll cost about 20 cents, if that. You're mostly paying for the weight of the little plastic baggie. If you're sexy maybe you can jsut get it as a sample. Sorry Ugos.

Anyway, throw all that shit in the saucepan til it's hot.

Now, the cheese. One and a half cups of cheddar cheese. (Buy this shit when it's on sale and grate it and throw it in the freezer. Most recipes call for grated anyway.) As for cream cheese, if it isn't somethig you regularly eat, you only really need about 2 tbsp (1 if you're doing a half recipe) which isn't relaly a lot. If this is the only thing you're goig to use it for, you should ask a roommate, girlfriend or random person. Worst case, try and steal a packet from the cafeteria.

Next, throw in the flour (3tbsp) and the 1/2 tsp of salt. Heat everything til it bubbles, but just barely. You don't want it to boil. Now you want to whisk it every once in a while for about 10 minutes, til it's thick. If you don't own a whisk and can't borrow one, use a big ole fork. Again, it's not going to work as well, but it's so not the end of the world.

Now, REMEMBERING TO STIR THE SAUCE, you've got to prepare the sandwich part. You need butter, (you can use margarine, which I personally think is the devil and will never be so poor as to not have because i'd marry it if i could...).

And enough slices of bread and eggs for everyone involved. If you can swing it, get a decent hearty bread. Get the day old shit , it's still delicious, just has more 'character'. Now, the LCBO version calls for prosciutto . This shit is insanely expensive. I juts get rosemary ham at the deli. You need two thin slices for each person.

Get those eggs cooking sunny side up in another pan while you do other stuff. (DONT FORGET TO WHISK THE SAUCE.)

You're going to butter the bread, throw it in the broiler or toaster oven til it's toasty, then ARRANGE (not toss , throw or chuck, but arrange) the ham, or prosciutto if you have a fridge to steal it out of, and pop it back it. Don't burn this, just heat it through.

Now, take our toast and ham, put that sauce on top, then the egg, then some parsley or chives. (dried parsley and chives are things you should have in your house and are insanely cheap especially if you buy at the bulk store.).

Presentation here is key, and it looks as good as it tastes.

Present dish to someone you want to have (more?) sex with.

Cheap and Delicious

Are you a student, or other general poor person? Do you not want to eat like one?

Well, you've come to the right place. I like eating like a not-hobo, and I have no money, so these are the stories of me eating like a human being on basically no money. My assistant Jacq will be there to learn with you. (Don't worry, she can't cook either.)

Until I can pop up some vids, here are some pics of things I make that are, of course, Cheap and Delicious.